In my previous post, I mentioned going to Auschwitz and Auschwitz-Birkenau. At first, I wasn't going to share anything about our visit there, mainly because I felt I hadn't processed it enough, but on second thought, it might be better for me to write about it. Over the next couple of posts, I'll talk about several things that I've been thinking about regarding Auschwitz.
I have always been interested in the Holocaust. Ever since I can remember, I have loved reading and learning about the people who were brave in the face of the Holocaust. In the process, I have also learned just what evil things Hitler ordered to be done to the Jews and other minorities living in reach of his power, including the Gypsies and the disabled. I thought I was somewhat prepared for this trip into Auschwitz and Auschwitz-Birkenau. Wow, was I ever wrong.
Walking through those concentration camps brings up such a mixture of feelings, and rightly so. On one hand, I was so excited to be there, an actual, real-life, epically historic place. On the other hand, I was so aware of the fact that more evil than I could ever know about had taken place here, and that history itself set this place apart. I was excited and respectful, scared and horrified, disgusted, and yet intrigued.
After this visit, one question stood out in my mind. There is this one hall in Auschwitz that is lined with the photos of individuals shipped to Auschwitz. Their eyes literally follow you as you walk through the hall, but for me, they said something more. They asked, no challenged, me with one question: Now what? Now that you have seen, what will you do?
So, what now? Will my life change? If so, how? If not, should it? In a way, I feel like I'm facing a essay topic with a strong inkling that I will epically fail. Way overwhelming. Here's a bit from my journal putting into words my thoughts that very Friday:
"It's so easy to get stuck in the somber thoughts. Thinking of the silver lining seems too contrived, too forced, even a bit disrespectful. How do I see God in light of this? Do I still believe He works all things for His good? Have my arguments changed in any way? Perhaps that is something good - that all this horror forces people to rethink where they come from and where they stand. Perhaps the "lesson" is more of a challenge - a challenge to rethink and evaluate all that you believe in."
The Holocaust was a travesty - that is a truth. Many people have looked at the Holocaust and wondered how God could have allowed such terrible things to happen. Where was God through all this? How could He be a good and loving God if He let all this happen?
Honestly, I cannot answer these questions. But one thing I do know - God is a an unchanging God. In the beginning, He was an all powerful yet eternally loving God. Throughout the ages, He has not changed one bit. Through the Israelites' obedience and disobedience, through the countless times we have each turned away from Him, our heavenly Father continues to seek after us - faithfully, adoringly, sacrificially.
Here's the truth: I don't know. I don't know how the truth of the Holocaust fits in with who God is, but here's a thought. On a cloudy day, you can't see the sun, but that doesn't mean the sun isn't still there. It still shines as it has been, right behind the clouds. Now, that may not be some philosophical answer, but its a thought :P
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